If there is discord in your family or you are concerned about one of your children, it may be time to reach out for professional help. My expertise and training has given me the tools to be very successful in my work with both families and individuals within the family unit. During my post doctoral training, I spent three intense years learning to work with children of all ages. In my analytic training, I continue to attend seminars that focus on understanding the changes that occur developmentally, emotionally and socially with children and adolescents. Over the past 25 years, I have found that my experience has been, by far, the most effective way to learn about human behavior.
In a family unit, often there is one child who is acting out the distress of all of the members within the family. At times it is best to work with this particular child. However, at other times, the work needs to be focused on helping the parents and/or the family as a whole. I enjoy the depth of understanding that is required to help a family find ways to resolve the dynamics that are currently causing distress.
When a child is still young, I have found that working with the child in addition to the parents is most effective. If the child is between the ages of 0-5, sessions most often include the child and the primary caregiver(s). After 6 years old, children are usually willing, in addition to the work with their parents, work one on one with the therapist. Depending on the nature of the child, therapy with the child includes talking, playing with figures, drawing and playing games. This type of play therapy is the most effective way for the therapist to understand the workings of their minds.
The “adolescent” years (included are the ages 11-18) are often a confusing time for children. Not only is there a surge of hormones, but the need to fit within their peer group and the desire to be more independent from the family can leave the child with overwhelming feelings of anger, frustration and sadness. Research has shown that the adolescent years are often the most tumultuous. It is a challenging time for everyone involved. Help from a therapist allows the child to successfully work through the onslaught of confusing emotions. If the child can learn to trust their therapist and bring their upset feelings into the office, then the therapist can help that child begin to make sense of their internal world. The understanding that they will gain will give them more control over their emotional life and they will learn how to manage their emotions in a way that will benefit themselves, their families and their peers.
Do not berate yourself for needing help at any time throughout your life with your children. As a parent, I know how difficult it is to trust someone with the health of your child. But, it is necessary to reach out to others when life begins to feel overwhelming, confusing and you feel there is no way to make change. The most successful people surround themselves with others who can help them conquer the challenges in life. To reach out to a therapist for help for your children and family is a sign of courage. Give yourself and your children the chance to understand why we have distressing emotional experiences. With understanding, we are then able to change the course of our lives by learning how to manage our feelings in a way that allows for a more deeply satisfying life.
